Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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