do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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