How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
