when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
