I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
