when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
