does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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