We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We are all done wearing pants today
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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