Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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