They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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