is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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