you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
