Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
