Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
