big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
its not stalking. its research.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
