like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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