Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
