At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
