That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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