he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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