i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
