went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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