I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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