I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
