Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
