as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
