my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
