Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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