its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
