How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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