I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've blown a few things in my day
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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