dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
