Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want you more than these girls want KFC
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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