it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
