Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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