hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
