he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
