vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
