Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
