I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i think i just lost a toe
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
