Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
