well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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