I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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