Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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