My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
