I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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