I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
