I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
