your room smells of hookers.
And success
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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