Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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