I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
