Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
